The past few days have had waves of giant emotions at both extremes as we approach Baby Ryan's first birthday. The weather is starting to turn "fall" just like last year, and it seems at every corner there's something that makes me think "one year ago today we were..."One year. Really?
I never wrote my delivery story, becuase the long and short of my story is that the actual labor and delivery was the smoothest and shortest and best part of my pregnancy! From week 5 to week 36 it seemed like one complication after another...knowing what I know now, I probably could take things more in stride, but the unknown combined with a little too much stress made for one emotional fat pregnant lady! So...just in case you've been anxiously anticipating this all year long, here you go. (Just kidding I know you weren't, but for my own stroll down memory lane...)
After months of a difficult and complicated pregnancy, I was really at my emotional and physical end of the rope! (Contractions for 10 weeks straight will do that to a person!) The 27th we had a doctor's appointment that I asked Seth to take off work for, and we were sent over to the Hospital for another non-stress test. They noted, sure enough, that I was still having regular contractions, but not intense enough to move things along naturally that day. Since the doctor knew I was completely at the end of my rope, he gave us the option to induce right then, or to wait until the 29th (the date he preferred to induce). I couldn't wait but Seth and I also couldn't make that decision, so we went home. I don't think I stopped crying from Tuesday afternoon until Thursday at 3 AM, when my contractions were long and intense enough to call and wake up the doctor and start heading out to the hospital! Seth, once again, got me through those 36 hours. I couldn't have done it alone. Oh, the tears...
We were so blessed. I was progressed enough to be taken right in by a kind nurse, and set up with pitocin for only a few hours before I got my epidural. My L&D nurse's shift started with the pitocin and ended with Ryan's delivery. She was perfect for us--positioned me just right, and the perfect temperament for us Johnsons. Seth was a great support, calmly watching over everything to make sure we were okay, and set me up with my iPod to listen to music all day--it especially came in handy when the lady next door to me had an emergency delivery and everyone was screaming at her and she was screaming back...(oh her birth story must be a horror!) so seth blocked it out with some Beatles so I could patiently wait for my epidural. My anesthesiologist was just amazing, allowing me to finally sleep for the first time in 48 hours! Our day was full of a very interesting feeling that I can only describe as relaxed anticipation. I slept through almost all of labor, and in between pushes. It's kind of funny being the center of everyone's attention (and facing the door, at that!), so I welcomed people as they came in, as non-not-awkward as THAT is, relaxed and happy to soon be not-pregnant and have little Ryan join us on Earth.
6:00 PM came quickly, and I was ready to go. The delivery was cheerful, calm, and surprisingly (and thankfully) uneventful. (My blood pressure did drop to about 80/30, but Seth and I were the only ones to seem concerned about that!). By 6:21 PM, our little Ryan came into the world. My fears of having an ugly baby were quickly put to rest as they laid him on my chest and I finally got to hold my little guy in my arms. I knew he'd be at least 9 lbs, but quite honestly I didn't realize that a "big" newborn was still just a teeny tiny and adorable little thing. His chubby cheeks just gave me more to pinch and kiss.
When the doctor held Ryan for the first time he said "oh, he's 10 lbs" and then they handed him over to Seth to hand to me, and then took him to be weighed. After they cut off the clamp he was 9 lbs 3 oz...(Doctor Growdon blames the clamp for making up the extra 13 oz:) 45 minutes worth of stitches and I finally got to hold him again, and then we went to our teeny tiny room for the night.
Seth kept calling me "bionic woman" after Ryan's delivery because I was nowhere near sleep. I had to stay up and make sure Ryan was okay! I just held Ryan on my chest all night, staring at him and praying over and over, thanking Heavenly Father for our sweet sweet son. Praying that he'd grow up to be a good boy. Praying that I would know how to be a mother. Praying for strength and guidance from Heavenly Father to do things right. And saying thanks again. Oh, he was just so cute! I promised that I would not let the moments slip by--that I'd cherish each one, and that I wouldn't forget the blessing we've been given.
From the night we brought him home with us to today, when I sit here writing while he sleeps in the next room, I couldn't be more thankful. Thankful for a baby boy who lights up when he sees us, who walks over to give me hugs and kisses at least every 5 minutes throughout the day, who points to everything with a 'a-dah?' (what's that?) or an actual object identification "ooth!" (toothbrush) "dag" (dog) "da-dee" (daddy!) or a simple "eese" (These?) or "isss" (This), and who brilliantly jokes with us (already!!!) using his funny little sense of humor.
I'm thankful for a husband who will get up at insane hours to rock Ryan back to sleep, who is excited to get home and see his little guy and play "get daddy", and who takes genuine interest and concern in every aspect of Ryan's little life. Seth took the majority of parenting over during the first few months when I was incapable with all my infections, and did a great job of it! His back might never be the same after hefting a sleeping boy on his shoulder the past year, but the bond between those two I think will make up for any irreparable back damage.
2 Weeks
I'm thankful to be a mother.
1 Week
50 WeeksI'm thankful to be a family.
3 weeks
50 weeks
